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Oct
1st
Sat
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We’ll Kerry on.

He looked over his left shoulder, panting. Three large men, all with pitchforks and overalls, chasing him at full speed. He knew he was dead. Heck, he knew he was dead even before he slept with largest man’s daughter. She was a lovely girl, who loved him for who he was. A piece of broccoli.

Jul
9th
Sat
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I keep Nigella’s sheep close.

As I stood in line wondering where I would end up - the ‘good’ person vault or the ‘liars’ vault - I notice my brother helping direct the lines. Problem was, my brother died in ‘17. He was also a woodchuck. 

Years later I received a package from him addressed to “Mr. A. Tindell”. I had married recently and took her name, as was customary, so I hadn’t been recognized as Mr. Tindell in a while. He had horrible handwriting.

Jun
20th
Mon
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Recently purchased a musket.

Recently purchased a musket.

Feb
2nd
Wed
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Snow. Check. No school. Check. Study break to watch an old favorite. Check.

Jan
16th
Sun
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& seen

Two fish were in their tank.

One manned the guns, the other drove.

Jan
2nd
Sun
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Mowgli has been a bit annoying since we got back to the house. Today he redeemed himself with his first successful hunt.

Mowgli has been a bit annoying since we got back to the house. Today he redeemed himself with his first successful hunt.

Dec
25th
Sat
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As the World Churns

Listening to the soft melody streaming from the BOSE radio that was sitting nicely on the kitchen table, he wept. Not because of the melody, but because he had just turned into a parrot.

Dec
23rd
Thu
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The Thunder Rolls Off My Tongue

If you’re looking for a situation that will depress both you and your wife, be the better seamstress.

Dec
10th
Fri
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Naut it.

Had one of the most intense and vivid dream in a while last night about a zombie apocalypse.

Big props to Adam and Bill for their controversial decision to follow a small child back to his house and into the attic. Never saw such a pimped out attic. It was full of assorted weaponry and had internet access.

While surfing the web we saw a disturbing death notice from a blogger.

RIP Lamar Odom.

Dec
7th
Tue
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Underneath the Underbrush Lies Understanding

Reason #41 being married is cool.

Walking into the bedroom to go to bed while your sleeping wife is laughing creepily saying “Just holding a placenta no big deal.”

It was all fun and games until her eyes rolled back into her head and a bloody placenta was visible in her hands.